Message To All
by Dr Namgge
Summary: Not all things to do with being a mascot are fun, as Sonic has learnt after being asked to write a statement. Can he succeed alone as he is determined to do, or will he need to be edited? Oneshot


_Just something I knocked together while bored. Enjoy._

* * *

"But why do _I_ have to do it?" Sonic asked tentatively.

"You're the head mascot of this company," a suited businessman said calmly, "We said we'd have a personal message for the fans from Sonic himself, which means you have to do it."

"We've done these 'personal' things before though," Sonic countered, "Remember the 'personal' introduction that was done for Stay Sonic."

"That was yonks ago, before you even had a voice."

"I had a voice actually!"

"No, the cartoons did, you didn't. However you're now full 3D, voice and all, and thus you have to do it." The man countered.

"Alright fine," Sonic sulked, "I'll do the damn letter. Almost makes me wish Ristar had been the mascot," Sonic muttered. He looked to the laptop in front of him. A blank word processing document starred back at him. Sonic had no idea how to start one of these.

"_My fellow Americuns,_" he typed, before deleting the 'u' and replacing it with an 'a'. After hesitation he deleted all of that, deciding not only was it far too formal, but that not everyone would be best pleased on that one. Political correctness ruled out his first choice anyway. Sonic starred back at the blank screen, "I'll get the intro later," he said to himself, and began typing.

After about twenty minutes Sonic looked up. He noticed the big red error sign, "Not enough input CPU memory," it said. Sonic looked at it blankly. Deciding he needed help he rang tech support. The phone rang for several minutes. Sonic stood there tapping his foot waiting for tech support to answer his call.

"Hello,"

"Tails, what does 'not enough input CPU memory mean?" Sonic asked the young fox.

"It means the CPU can't keep up with all the things it's being told to do," Tails answered.

"In English?" Sonic said dryly.

"What did you do to get that error?" Tails asked, trying to figure out what to tell Sonic not to do.

"I was just typing up a message in a word processor," Sonic said.

"At your average speed?" Tails said, second guessing the problem.

"Yep," Sonic smirked, in a way that even Tails could tell he was smirking without even seeing him.

"That'll be the problem Sonic," Tails said calmly, "most computers can't hack that sort of speed of typing. You need to slow down."

"Cheers li'l buddy," Sonic said hanging up, before adding "great, this is gonna take longer than I thought."

Sonic had no choice but to start again. Having forgotten much of what he'd typed into what would eventually have resulted as one hundred and twenty thousand word letter, Sonic began to type slower. Fumbling over keys, Sonic re-typed and typed. Within about an hour he was done, and had a slender twelve pages ready to print. Sonic was shocked himself when he saw that he could write that much, but he let it go. Walking out the lift he handed his work to the receptionist. Sonic smirked as he placed his hand on the door to leave.

"This is too long," the receptionist said.

"So, edit it then" the blue hedgehog said, wanting out.

"Sonic you know the deal," said a voice from behind. It was the same man who'd left him in the room before. Sonic couldn't help but think there was something slightly different about him though. He was sure the bloke had hair when first saw him. Sonic looked to the chair the man had been sat on, and noticed the hairpiece. Sonic thought it'd be best not to say anything.

"Look I did my part," Sonic said.

"I'm afraid I have to insist you redo it Sonic," the man said placing his hand on Sonic's shoulder, causing Sonic to shiver, "We don't want to disappoint the fans now do we?"

Sonic sighed, and headed back towards the room. Taking the elevator back up, Sonic sat in one of the chairs, and starred out the window for a while. How on Earth could he write so many words? Sonic shrugged, and looked through what he'd written. Much of it was rambling, and he realised himself he'd spent six pages waffling on about all the adventures he'd had.

Sonic reopened the file on the computer. He began going over it, condensing words, trimming the fat, and eventually got it down to just a page. Sonic figured this would suffice. He looked at the clock, he'd now been in the building for over three hours, in what was supposed to be a twenty minute job. Sonic couldn't figure out why it felt longer than it really was though.

Sonic headed back down to reception, and handed the paper directly to the bald man, who'd now relocated his toupee, and was wearing it again, albeit somewhat crooked. The man skimmed over it again, tuting, "no, no, no, this won't do at all. Sonic you can do better than this."

"Well I don't care to," Sonic snapped, "I've been here over three hours, I want out. If it's that bad do it yourself." Sonic was frustrated.

"I'm afraid I can't allow that Sonic. There's a deadline, and we at Sega can force all employee's to work around the clock to make these deadlines. I'm sure you've heard about what we did to the Sonic X-treme development squad," the man smirked.

Sonic sighed and relented, heading back into the lift. On the way up the perfect idea hit him. He sat back down at the desk, typed it up as quickly as he could, and sent it to print. He looked at the printed copy, and realised he'd made a rather large error

"Son_ci_!", Sonic said aloud, "My name's not Sonci," he said, and re-adjusted his spelling. Sonic printed out a newly adjusted copy, pleased with himself. He raced towards the elevator, and rushed forwards into the lobby. The suited man wasn't ready for Sonic this time, and Sonic could see him struggling to do up the jacket underneath his large belly.

"There," Sonic said frustrated, "I'm not doing anymore." Sonic put his hand on the door handle.

"Don't you get it Sonic," The businessman said, " you can't leave. Ever," With that the businessman flipped a switch and Sonic recoiled back as an electric shock shot through him.

"You can't keep me prisoner," Sonic said.

"I'll think you'll find that I, the great doctor Robotnik, can" the man said, removing the jacket to reveal a much more familiar red coat.

It was a trap then, Sonic thought to himself. Sonic found himself face to face with Dr Robotnik. Sonic tensed up upon the sight of Robotnik.

"You see dear fellow, this was all merely a rouse to trick you. There is no Sega, there is no human fans, they don't exist. Did you honestly believe that while you exist here, someone somewhere else would be playing as you in a videogame?" the doctor asked.

Sonic didn't say anything. Mentally he cursed himself for falling for the old 'you have fans on another planet whom we make the videogames of, and we'd love for you to give them a personal message' trap. He looked around for a way out. His heart sunk when every available exit was sealed from the outside, leaving him alone with Robotnik. Robotnik of course had hidden his Egg-O-Matic in the room and was now content fly about in it.

"What's you're plan this time then Eggman?" Sonic yelled.

Robotnik didn't answer, "let's see what you came up with then," he smirked. A grabbing claw shot out of the Egg-O-Matic, Robotnik took the piece of paper out of the claw, and read it aloud, laughing, "That's what you wrote to your fans?" he taunted.

Sonic made a jump for the Egg-O-Matic. Robotnik narrowly steered out of the way to avoid being hit. The claw picked up the table, and threw it in Sonic's direction, Sonic ducked, and the table smashed into the door, shattering it on impact. An idea grew in Sonic's head, and Sonic taunted Robotnik, "You throw worse than Amy," he yelled. Robotnik got angry and had the claw pick up the chair, Sonic made his dash and jumped for the back wall, as the chair hit near the elevator shaft. Sonic saw the claw pick up a pot plant, and Sonic knew this was his chance. He stood right where Robotnik had stood moments before, and jumped as the pot plant was thrown. Sonic landed, and made a jump off the other chair connecting with Robotnik.

Robotnik cursed loudly, as he felt the force of Sonic's body slamming underneath himself. He lunged the arm at where Sonic landed. Sonic dodged and watched the arm shoot into the control panel. The metal that closed the doors shut began to lift, and smoke blew out from the control panel. Sonic found the switch for the electricity, and flicked it off. Sonic turned and watched Robotnik's Egg-O-Matic begin to sizzle, and explode, as Robotnik ejected the arm from the vehicle. Sonic spin dashed out of the door, taking the glass with him, as the room exploded in a hail of debris.

Sonic watched from outside as the building rattled with explosions. He felt a chill, and looked around as the now night sky was snowing. Sonic looked around as everything was covered in snow. Much of the Starlight Zone was sprinkled with a layer of the white stuff, as where all the decorations. A piece of paper fell to the ground near him. Sonic picked it up, and looked at it smirking.

It read: "To all my fans,

Have a merry Christmas and I'll see you all in the new year,

Sonic the Hedgehog."


End file.
